Here is a quote from a respectable training and development journal (I promise you that this is verbatim – I haven’t changed a word):

“The core premise of this paradigm is that management excellence is fundamentally tied to creating/enabling organisational contexts that build human strengths and unlock the positive and generative dynamics of vibrant human communities”

Now consider the following:

“5 ways to improve relationships:
• Listen
• Acknowledge his or her feelings
• Don’t criticise
• Be interested in his or her point of view
• Don’t react normally”

Do you agree that the first quote is needlessly complicated? I think that it means that managers are supposed to create conditions at work where people are able to use their strengths and generally flourish.

Do you agree that the second quote is needlessly simplistic? Each of the five recommendations is tough - and the last one well nigh impossible. Can you imagine what it would be like, say, on the brink of a humdinger of an argument with a colleague or your partner, to think to yourself, “What could I do differently?”

Surely this would be a remarkable feat of self-control? Just consider the possibilities. Instead of looking serious, you’d look cheerful; instead of raising your voice, you’d whisper; instead of interrupting them, you’d hear them out; instead of shaking your head, you’d nod…and so on.

Avoiding your ‘normal’ reactions would, first, call for superhuman self-control and, second, run the risk of exacerbating the situation.

I keep thinking that there must be a happy medium where complicated things can be expressed in a simple way but not become so simple that it is banal. I have a friend who maintains that if it is simple then it is likely to be practical, if it is practical then it is likely to get used, if it is used then it is likely to make a difference.

Still, perhaps we all need a health warning: “This may sound simple, but it is not easy”.